Charcuterie and coffee would be a combination that should be avoided, at all costs. Make a note. Maybe just call it charcuterie and fart.
Lunch of charcuterie then a medium coffee for the two and a half hour ride home. I made it about half way. I was nauseous before the coffee and one with more sense would have taken the hint and avoided the coffee all together. But not me, lets push things to the limit, see how they turn out.
Things were going fine until they weren’t. I got gassy. Usually that leads to other things, but you’ve got to let it out. Holding the gas in doesn’t physically work. A couple bouts of reliving myself then the urgency – the panic. Oh my gawd the panic. I told Ryan I needed a gas station, something somewhere and quick.
As nice and understanding as he always is he told me we were not close to anything and he was driving as fast as he could. Well, it wasn’t going to be fast enough. I demanded that he pull over and he seemed confused, there is nothing here. Yep, I know. Doesn’t matter. He quickly pulled over to the side of the road. I shit on the shoulder of a highway in the daylight hour as other motorists passed.
Yep. That is how that went down. Not my proudest moment, but such a relief that I did not shit my pants or in Ryan’s truck (oh the horror that would have been – for both of us). An embarrassment to have to use the bathroom in such an urgent manner on the side of the road, in the broad daylight. I can attest that is was not the first time I have had to do that and I am sure that it will not be the last.
Ladies don’t poop
I tell this horror story to let others know they are not alone with this condition. Having IBS is overwhelming, especially as a woman. We have been taught that farting and talking about poop is not lady like. Someone gave the impression at some point along the road that ladies don’t poop. It’s also not appropriate for us to fart, sweat (um, we glow, didn’t you know?!) or smell because apparently we are to smell like flowers and baby powder all the time. This teaching, or line of thinking needs to go away.
Brothers, or the lack of
Growing up, my family consisted of three girls, mom and dad. I don’t recall freely talking about poop. We didn’t poop, poot, or fart. I am sure those actions took place it just wasn’t discussed or laughed about when you slipped one out. I didn’t know about farting until I spent some time at a friend’s house. She had a brother. And at that house they did all the gross things. Boys get away with that. They fart out loud and laugh about it. Parade about in their grossness! We didn’t even say the word fart at my house, but here they are doing it and laughing!
I have memories of the first time I said the f-word in my mother’s presence. I thought I was going to get into so much trouble, it being a dirty word. The fear of getting my mouth washed out with soap was so strong could taste it. But it must have been a word she was familiar with, just hadn’t introduced us children to as she didn’t flinch. No trouble from mom, put this word in my vocabulary bank!
I just read this paragraph below from a New York Times article, about the reluctance of women pooping at work.
Remember the children’s book, “Everyone Poops”? It is meant to teach kids that defecating is a natural, healthy part of digestion, and it does so by illustrating a wide variety of creatures — dogs, cats, snakes, whales, hippos, little boys — happily defecating. But you know who you won’t see defecating in that book, happily or unhappily? Women.
If you want, you can read the full article here, https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/17/style/women-poop-at-work.html
Even a children’s book representing everyone pooping is not representing women pooping! Normalizing the conversation around our bodily functions, pooping and farting, just makes sense and needs to happen, like yesterday! There is nothing gendered about pooping and to continue the stigma around this topic simply does a disservice to your health.
Did you grow up with brothers?
Was there laughter around farts and pooping in your family?
