Florida’s fall is upon us. The air has been crisp, it is cool enough that I have opened the windows and we can sleep at night without sweating. Things have slowed down around here again, and I know I should embrace that slow place but I am once again having a hard time knowing what to do with myself. The word, grace keeps repeating in my head. I need to give myself some grace. Heck, I think everyone should probably take this to heart. Give yourself some grace.
The overview of “giving yourself some grace” is a phrase that means to treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience, similar to how you would treat a friend. It can also mean practicing self-compassion, forgiving yourself, and celebrating your progress.
It is the golden rule, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” but grace is the reverse. Do unto yourself as you would do unto others.
The saying has deep roots in yoga and faith communities, and it frequently shows up online as a hashtag or inspirational quote. It is a gentle reminder to let go of self-criticism, pity, and shame.
This whole idea of grace is not in my mental vocabulary. I am hard on myself. I talk down to myself. There are things that are said in my head that I would not say to others. I did not grow up in an environment such as that.
Grace should come easy to me
My growing-up environment was a very nurturing and forgiving place. You were allowed to make mistakes and were allowed to try time and time again when you messed up. There was a calm voice telling you that you got this. There was someone there standing beside you to help you back up when you failed.
Where did this voice in my head come from? Why does it talk bad to me when I make mistakes? When did this voice take over my mental stability? How do I push this voice away – silence this voice that plays in my head and does not allow me grace?
It is like learning to ride a bike or losing weight. It is a whole process that takes time. Learning how to give oneself grace is a process.
I am going to start working on giving myself some grace because I know I need some. That is sad, isn’t it? Knowing that one is so hard on oneself they have to be mindful about allowing oneself some grace.
Ways to practice this preaching
Address perfectionism. I am learning a new skill, with a new job, things are going to be hard. Not every day will I get it right. In my head I know I am not shooting for perfect, I just want to be close to right. I want to come in close. And every day a little better. I need to be able to identify what “success” looks like at this moment.
Give credit. Each day brings achievements that should be recognized. Even if they are small achievements such as drinking all your daily water or sticking to a boundary that you set. Each achievement should be recognized.
Stop with the negative talk. This goes back to do unto yourself as you would do unto others. Negative talk can dominate your brain space – it does mine. It limits your personal growth and adds unnecessary stress to life. We have enough stress, no need to add any unnecessary additional stress to this.
Go easy going forward
On this day going forward, give yourself some grace. Maybe you didn’t get it right today, you have tomorrow. Keep working towards your goals and stop to give yourself a pat on the back. Maybe it is just a pat on the back because you tried today and that was scary. Just know that you have another chance to try again. And give yourself a pat on the back for that.
