Some moments stand out in life. You remember the good times and can reflect on those and smile to yourself. The bad times or uncomfortable times stick with you too. The reflection on these times doesn’t bring that smile to your face. When I was a mid-teenager, filled with hormones, anger, and life uncertainty my mom called me out on something and her words still ring in my ears. Sometimes you need those lessons from Momma.
I had committed myself to attending an event. Right now, at this moment, probably because that was close to 28 years ago, I cannot for the life of me recall what this event was. I do recall once the event rolled around, I decided that I was not interested in going anymore and would just make up an excuse not to attend. I told my mom I wasn’t going. She said fine do as I please, but know that if I told someone I was going, that was my word, and then if I backed out, what good was my word?
Lessons from music or just lessons from Momma
There was a popular country song at the time, and Mom quoted the lyrics. I just googled the song because for the life of me, I couldn’t remember who the artist was. I laughed at the Google search results. The artist was Aaron Tippin. Mom used to say he was her “boyfriend”. Of course, she knew the lyrics of this song to throw at me.
The one line from the song Mom quoted me was, you got to stand for something or you will fall for anything. Mom called me out and she was totally right to do so.
There was a person or two in my life growing up who would cancel plans on me last minute. It hurt. We would be planning on doing something fun for the weekend, then they would have a “better opportunity” come up at the last minute (usually something to do with a boy) then our plans would be canned. I would get so angry that I played second fiddle to whomever or whatever arose. Mom knew how that hurt me and also pointed that out. I didn’t want to make someone feel the way that situation made me feel.
Wear someone else’s shoes?
Maybe that is the best way to teach a lesson. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It is definitely a way to think about a situation. My potential canceling on my friend was the same as my friends canceling on me. Mom pointed out that I committed and had to stand by that commitment. She was right.
To this day 28 years later there are times when I say to myself, you got to stand for something or you will fall for anything. Valuable words that held a lesson to little 16-year-old Amy, still have such a great value to grown-up Amy.
The importance of keeping your word builds trust and respect in a relationship. Not just romantic relationships but friendships, working relationships, and family. Knowing that what you say and do have some backbone and that people can count on you is invaluable.
If you stand true to yourself, your beliefs, and to your word you will lose friends, maybe we should just call them acquaintances. My belief is that if they don’t hold and honor the same values as you do you even want them as friends? Just something I have learned here in the past year. The take-home note.
Notes to make for yourself
I have lost “friends” within this year of quitting my job. I have stood up for myself and what values I believe in. In Momma’s words and those of Momma’s “boyfriend”, Aaron Tippin, you got to stand for something or you will fall for anything.
PLEASE stay true to the values you believe in. Times can and possibly will be tough, but you are strong and can make it through. Stay true to you.
