Is that an oxymoron? Is that a thing, authentic friendship? I am questioning it. I feel like I have more time for self-reflection in this period of my life—more time to ask myself the hard questions and think and answer them truthfully. Who would have thought quitting a job would open so many conversations with myself?
It has been eight months since I left my job. These eight months have been a big scary life-changing period. I didn’t leave the job for a better job. The departure wasn’t for greener pastures. I left because I felt I deserved more and the department head didn’t see it the same way. If I had stayed I would have been bitter and angry.
I had to go. When someone does not value me, my work ethic, and the job I do, it is time for me to move on.
I know I am a hard worker and deserve what I was asking for.
So here we are. Eight months later. Eight months that I have spent thinking and processing all the life things. It has taken eight hard months to get here. But what a value those eight months have brought. I can see things that maybe I had not been able to before.
Friendship is not authentic. Most of them anyhow.
I recently listened to a podcast on the author, Robert Greene. He wrote the book The 48 Laws of Power. Robert Greene struck me as a nerdy, intelligent, long-haired hippy kind of guy. The book, The 48 Laws of Power holds a value, not just power but insight. And quite possibly insight is power.
The Second Law
The second law of the 48 is Never Put Too Much Trust in Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies. Friends are more likely to betray you in haste as they are more prone to envy. However, if you hire a former enemy, they will prove themselves more trustworthy, as they have more to prove. Consequently, you have more to fear from friends than your enemies.
One of the two of my closest friends from the job I just left (neither of the two do I have much if any communication with at this point), the one, when I did speak with him during the past eight months would always ask if I found a job and how many jobs have I applied to and then proceed to tell me about his other friends who have gone on to score six-figure jobs (they have not, as I have later learned).
This infuriated me. Why can I not lock down a job? Why does he want to belittle me by asking how many jobs I have applied to (it has been a lot)? And what value does that bring to him? Compare me to his other acquaintances. He is not looking out for me, he is envious, he wants to talk shit about me and have insider information—the second law of the 48.
Not everyone wants the best for you. Not everyone will lift you, or help propel you to greatness. There are those you believe to be your friends, your Ride or Dies. They are there for a minute, a moment in time. Just know that.
When you find the authentic friend, hold them close. They are worth they are worth their weight in gold. True friendship is valuable.
Have you ever felt betrayed by a so called friend?
Why is adult friendship so hard?
