I know in relationships there tends to be a person who cares more than the other person or brings more to the table. Hopefully, it plays out so everyone is feeling valued and their needs are being met. When I say relationships that isn’t just for romantic relationships. I am talking about friendships also. Sometimes all you need to do is set a notification on your phone.
I have four close to me people who I would call “besties”. Now, this is not a five-of-us best-friend circle. They are four individuals, who know each other and some of them don’t care for each other but each one brings joy and value individually to my life.
You need an alert
My birthday falls at the end of January. One of my best friend foursome wished me a happy birthday. Ouch. One. Out of four. These odds are not looking good if I were a gambler. Now, I do not need a big to do for my birthday, but an acknowledgment from best friends should be a given.
I have struggled with this. Maybe they are not good with dates or keeping track of time. They don’t have birthdays memorized like I do. Fair. That is all fair. But each one of them goes to a job and has a calendar. Heck, they even have smartphones that can send a notification of a birthday.
Special people should get special treatment
To me, there is no excuse when you value a person. You work harder to make them feel special. If that means setting notifications on your phone a week in advance, then that is what you do. An article in Psychology Today hits on some of the points I am thinking about.
One of the besties messaged two weeks past the birthday that she felt like crap that she had forgotten. And I believe her. And she wanted me to say it was okay. But it is not. So, I didn’t. I would not give her the grace of missing a text message on my birthday. Maybe I am an asshole. But maybe people should be held accountable for their actions.
I believe if you have best friends, people who are meaningful in your life, you celebrate them. You acknowledge them. A message to let someone know you are thinking of them. A check-in.
Check in on your people
I know that I mentioned that I quit my job. And I put up a tough outer shell. I am not letting anyone in to know the struggles I am facing. That is on me for keeping it hushed and to myself. But please check in on any of your people who may have made a big life change. Even if it was quitting a job that maybe they had been wanting to quit. Going through the emotions are hard. To know that people are checking in on you helps. Even if they are not willing to discuss all the feelings they are feeling, to know someone cares is a great value. You have to be there, just to be there.
Reach out to someone. Even if it is a quick hello. Or let someone know you are thinking about them. Or praying for them, if you are the praying kind.
Stop what you are doing and set birthday notifications on your phone for the important people in your life.
